"The Sprouting Era"

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Life is a strange stray. You get along the way in which petals of beautiful soul fly away. I might not hold her till my demise but she would never leave me to loose her hold. For what I believe life was partial with me. I was never too much deep down to get hold on my purpose. It was the year 2011 and I was in 1st standard, which was the beginning mark of a scheduled journey of my life.

As a matter of fact I never knew what I was being taught in my 1st and 2nd standard but, might be due to honesty of luck my grades were good . From the 3rd standard, a sensation of the purpose of the things I have been taught started to dawn over me. It was nothing but might be the sprouting stage of activation of brain. I don't know why but, everyday I used to fight with myself where I never won the battle. Sometimes the fight used to be for happiness, sometimes for having independency , sometimes for not being a recognised object among my friends and so on. The fight never ended and I never won.

Might be it was never a fight but, rather it was a casual everyday, of new journeys , new hopes , new thought process and perennial flow flows on. For being having a sake of a little boon I was not a below average student. I could score well if I was well versed with the knowledge of the topics.

What I felt in the process of being a piece of peace in the mankind, parenting plays a vital role. I was never happy with my parents not for as a being in themselves but for the way of their parenting. I felt of them being Overpampering. They used to limit my freedom to some extent in aspect of hanging up with friends, going out to a distance to play with my friends which in turn used to gap me from friends as well as it used to create instability of my mind and drag me down to depression. But to be honest they never used to do that for which they could peep me out in depression but rather they were afraid for me not being mixing up with the wrong crowd which could ultimately ruin my whole life rather than just few hours or a day.

Steve Jobs said it very ironically that" You can never connect the dots looking forward but you can always connect it looking backwards". For which we never knew the future. Looking, exploring and experiencing things I found myself in the 10th standard, which was undiscriminatingly a turning point in everyone's life whoever jot down their dots of life very precisely. I got good grades in my 10th standard and as a common matter of fact I took science. People around run a expression express which shows that the train of science students is always depressing and fighting which I felt the same. But at a point afterwards I felt thankful since it teaches you about the graph of life and helped me to hold on to my weaknesses and also helped me to build myself as a being. I was seperated from my friends and I was in a state of loneliness. Those were the days where I learnt that if you can never make yourself happy and never enjoy your own companion then no one else is going to feel themself in a state of joy with being around you. And since generation Sir Rowan Atkinson taught us the same thing, because human mankind is a perennial flow of a river which always demises itself in a vast ocean or sea of nature where their dumb soul will lie but not their speaking mouth or their working body.

I passed my 12th luckily and got admission in one of the prestigious colleges of India. As after a much struggle of class 11th and 12th one takes admission in college, the 1st year of college is way exploring and most freshers spent the 1st year as a vacation year. This intense period was the high time for me to upskill as well as upgrade myself. I learned many new thi many new things from coding to graphics designing, video editing, videography, photography etc,. I was well versed with shooting videos and editing them. Coming to the 2nd year of college everything I was being taught seemed to have no value to me. This doesn't mean that my professors were not good. Rather they were one of the best minds in the country. But somewhere I felt all those teachings and subjects doesn't get hold on me and I took a firm decision and dropped out without letting my parents know. Harsh, my friend also dropped out along with me. Together we both opened a content production house. At the initial stage we went on making short films and travelling documentary films and we used to earn a decent bucks of money by brand promotion in our videos.

Things were reaching heights and our contents get selling to a large mankind, we could paddle to sell dreams through our content to an infinite distance. We were making good profit. Then we got an offer from NETFLIX to create an animated web series on love. It was one of the toughest projects I ever had. Animation is the art where you can put the emotions according to your will but it's very difficult to raise the height to the best audience selling content. Working on this project I met with Ayat. When we took audition for the scripts her one was the best. The way she described the elements of love was so pure and natural. I didn't had much conversation with her as I was busy building the characters and on that time she was busy preparing the script and writing dialogues. My character development and her script was ready. Now the real work starts. The story was a love story between two classmates where the girl being short lived left this world but the boy never stopped loving her and she was always there with him not physically but rather emotionally. Our work was almost done and the end of the story stands out to a point where it founds it's existence in a paranormal world of love. After the death of the girl the boy was very depressed and down in his life. The love of the boy for the girl was beyond imagination. And the most thrilling part of the story is the part where the girl became an angel and was always present with the boy and except the boy nobody else could her. They used to spend lot of time together. The boy was deeply on hold with the girl. The boy never wanted any physical manifestation but was rather happy how things were going. Maybe that's the feeling of love which no one could or ever define.

Our work got huge success. It was the 1st Indian animated movie to get selected for oscars and got the 1st prize on the title of best animated movie of the year in Japan Film Festival. Me and Ayat were on news headlines and this milestone was just because of Ayat.

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"The Love in Spring"

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I never had a deep conversation with Ayat. One day in the evening, Ayat was sitting at a corner in the studio and was creating something like an animated imagination. I am not much deep with love, so I was curious to know and learn about love of her perspective. She was ambitious too to share. She said some elements are made in this world by Almighty for human mankind to be never able to define them which ultimately drives the mankind to know and feel more about it which maintains peace and harmony. She said I can also never what love exactly is but what I am explaining you is just my mere perception of love and I assure you the day you will be there with your soulmate you would be a dumb philosopher of love.

We both smiled and she was little late for home and it was heavily raining outside. So I asked her if I should drop her home and she hold my helping hand. On the way to her home we were having conversation about love, people, mankind, people's perception, jealousy and a lot more. It felt as if we can never stop as we might be never bored of it. But it might be as a person she is like this, always optimistic and ambivert. Dur to the reason we both work on the same studio we both started sharing each other company to each other and both felt cheerful on spending time with each other. But she was little strange. Her personal phone has only two numbers, one of her best friend and another of her grandfather of orphanage who took care of her in the orphanage. When she was too small her parents passed away in an accidentall fire. From then onwards she was alone. She is a little stange to a point where she never shares her personal contact with anyone else.

And to my astonishment she said she only shares her personal contact to the person with whom she feel the best version of herself without any regret and till it never happened for anyone else except her best friend and her grandpa. I don't know why but unintentionally we were coming very close to each other. I knew that if we ever come very close to each other then she would surely make me the 3rd person to share her personal contact. And it assured me one day in the morning, when she rang me with her personal number and wished good morning and also asked to save her number and said that it was her personal contact. I was sure within myself and I knew that I love her and I also knew that love doesn't have any explanation. It was her birthday eve and I decided to propose her that day and so I organised a dinner. That eve we both spent the time well, she was very happy but I was a bit nervous as well as little sure that she might also feel the same. Sipping two sips of Old Monk from the glass I proposed her and her reaction was everlasting in my life. She said I love you too and I also know that I can't say yes to spend my life with you. Saying these words she started crying and slowly fainted. I was very stressed about her and I took her to the hospital. What the doctor said has got me down to an end point of my life. The doctor said that she was suffering from AIDS and her condition is very serious and hardly she is left with 2-3 months. She was sleeping and I was sitting holding her hand next to her bed and I also slept.

Waking in the morning I got a note from her to never contact her and she wants me to be happy in my life. The nurse said that she left the hospital in the morning . I ranged her near about 150 times but she didn't pick up. Then I reached her home. I was ringing the bell. I knew she was inside and she was not opening the door. Then I sat down beside her door. She also knew that I was there. She also sat down next to her door from inside and was crying and saying me to leave her alone in her way. She said don't waste your time, go and you have a prosperous life ahead. She said do you know some feelings and some person's fate is like the spring which gets replaced very fast from this world. At that point I didn't have any answer. She slowly opened the door and took me inside. She was sitting and I was lying on her lap. The serene and content touch of her hands were running through my hair. She said I want to love you till the end point, I would always be there with you and I promise that. Then I said I assure you that you would be my angel.

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"The End Never Ended"

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She said I have few things to explore and those things I always wanted to persue with the person I would love the most and would have regret of my death for time spent with that special person would be as little as the season of spring🌱🌷🌸. And I know that I am left with very little time. Would you be with me to fulfill the wishes. I didn't utter anything and said which place to book the ticket first. She started again saying that I want to make everything transparent. I was in dilemma about what could be the scenario she is trying to explain. She then said she got infected with AIDS being in a physical relationship with many individuals since she has to live the life of a Prostitute after her parents demised. I never used to judge someone since I never knew what might be the situation for what they acted in this scene and since past life of a person never define them as an individual being in present. Life is a easy flow. Even many people have physical relationship any many individuals many a times but it was their choice but in her situation she was forced. I didn't acted to her talk and said that I want to spend the whole lifetime of mine with and your angel and now I don't have reckless time to discuss such nonsense and let's get ready for a new morning , to a new place, to a new breathe and to a new hope of ray. We were on vacation for 2 months on many parts of India and the World. The places in her list where she took me was so serene, away from the Citylights, lit up with the moonlight🌙🌙🌙in the night and sunshine ☀️in the morning. Those places teach you life. Those places were like heavens on Earth. I was really thankful to Almighty to gift her in my life.

But after the vacation I was scared that the dark day may knock anytime. As I scared off her health was deteriorating and she was hospitalised. Doctors warned me that she is left with very countable time. It was the season of spring🌱🌷🌸. I was sitting with her and she asked me in fear of pain is it spring🌱🌷🌸. I said "Yes". Then she said I want to feel a little spring in the garden of the hospital with you. I took her outside. Fresh air was blowing. She started saying, in this spring 🌱🌷🌸along with the flowers🌸🌺🌻🌹🌷🌼💐 I will also blow away. I asked her to promise me that her soul would never leave me. She just kept her hand on my hand and her lips 👄were on my chicks and I could hear her last breathe on my ear and my life stopped as her soul left her body. The period we lived the love of our life was as short as spring🌱🌷🌸. After 2 months of psychological trauma and depression I was back onto my work. Everyday I used to feel her presence with me, in the nature🌿🍃, in the air I breathe and everywhere. After the demise of a person that person is not dead. She was also alive in the time of memories we spent together👫. It was 14th Feb and I was alone in my room, working on my laptop💻 on a new project. The wind outside started blowing very fast, everything seemed to be in a hurry and suddenly a voice from my room came to my ear calling my name "Ayan". I was not scared and entered the room. Many Paranormal acts were happening at a time in my room as I didn't acted on the acts. Then a voice with elements of love questioned me " Are you not afraid or scared😱 of me"? I replied "No"as you are my angel and not a ghost to get scared off you and even if you would be a ghost I won't let you go leaving me. She smiled and appeared in front of me. She said I kept my promise of not leaving you and would never leave you. I said pleasure😌 my love❤❤. Then she asked how is your valentines💑 day going on. I replied, you know better than me and if need to answer than it's going really well and charming😍 with my angel. Then I took a red velvet cake🍰 from the fridge which was her favorite and asked whether she want to eat and I was joking wether angels could eat or not. I asked her whether angels get hungry 😣🍕or not or do they become fatty. We both were joking with each other. I said her that even people may demise in spring🌱🌷🌸 but angels are born in spring🌱🌷🌸. She stayed with me forever. My life was fulfilled. I knew now what is love❤ and I also knew why it has not got any definition, just because for every human being to feel it, to live it and to smell it's aroma. She was present with me with a promise that I cannot reveal this fact that I can see her and can talk with her and that she was present there with me and if I do so she would be no more visible and would not talk anymore. Now those who you are reading would have a question that why I revealed it. It's just because this story might only be published after my demise which I told our lovely daughter Inayat, to read only after my demise breaking the locker. My last words to whoever is reading the story is live, smell and enjoy the aroma and purity of ❤❤❤❤.

--Tauseef😇😇